Bad Teacher (2011) Review

Originally posted on June 25, 2011, for AD Forums.

I saw Bad Teacher a couple of hours ago. Usually I wait a day or two to collect my thoughts, but in the case of this movie, the problems in it are easily apparent. It was, dare I say it, even worse than Hangover Part Two. And it should've been better. And there were a few key things in place - a decent cast led by a more than capable Cameron Diaz, a good marketing campaign that highlighted the (few) funny moments. But Bad Teacher is just... bad.

The biggest, and most dire, problem, is Diaz's character. Unlikeable comedy protagonists are staples of movies and television. I don't think you're supposed to find Woody Allen's character in Annie Hall pleasant (or I completely misunderstood that movie); a more solid example would be the boys from Superbad. Who would REALLY want to hang out with whiny Evan, loud-mouth Seth, or, dear God, McLovin? Television offers us even more horrendously unlikeable characters, from racist genocidal maniac Cartman to pompous idiot Stephen Colbert. Usually, we like these characters for one of two reasons: 1) we laugh at how fucking insane they are (Cartman), or 2) the stories they move through are easy to relate to (the Superbad boys). Diaz is most definitely an unsympathetic protagonist, but the script doesn't know how to handle this. On one hand, she isn't crazy enough to be insane. She's repulsive, yes, but in a thoroughly normal way, which makes some of her antics (like her blunt assertation that a students' cookies suck) come off not as funny, but sad. On the other hand, her arc wobbles all over the place. Her quest to win a bonus to get a boob job automatically makes her plight sympathy-proof to male audiences. The fact that she doesn't have many redeeming qualities locks her out to the remainder of the audience. The script tries to do too many things with their protagonist. Diaz needed to either have more complex motivations and a more dynamic story arc, or she needed to go balls-to-the-wall crazy. She does neither. The character falls flat and leaves us wondering why we're even following this bitch.

And really, Diaz comes off as nothing more than a bitch. The script is the biggest problem in this movie - we are given little compelling reason to care for Diaz, as outlined above. We're given even less reason to care about her students, her coworkers, everyone. This script has the pacing and fragmentation of a television show. This movie would probably work much better as a TV show, honestly. "Terrible teacher continually screws over her class" is something I would watch. There are a lot of interstitials in the movie, noting 'three months later' and 'two months later' and such, things that might be more easily facilitated in the confines of a TV show (as Community does fairly well). Also, the interstitials fragment the movie in obvious ways, but scenes lurch into each other, random plot devices (like Phyllis Smith's brief flirtation with a cowboy) are never mentioned again, and things suddenly happen with no real explanation.

Maybe if the acting was good, this would help. It doesn't. Diaz sells her character well, and was probably the only acting performance I vaguely enjoyed. Lucy Punch (who I can't stand but everyone here loves so go figure) is supposed to be the cloying villain, the kind of overly sweet, sentimental character who the audience should hate because she's the antithesis of the wild main character. Instead, Punch vacillates wildly between random histrionics, seething, and having a nervous breakdown brought on by Diaz. (Speaking of Diaz's character not working - I know I wasn't supposed to be sympathetic to Punch. I was. Through the whole damn movie.) Jason Segel wanders around aimlessly and looks inexplicably hot. And Justin Timberlake, dear God. This man can be funny. We all know it. He is completely wasted here as a goody two-shoes whose cutesy act soon dissolves into full-on smarmy creepiness - AS A PLOT POINT. None of the main characters are at all pleasant to watch.

The supporting characters could actually make a fairly entertaining movie on their own, though. We have Eric Stonestreet as a rather befuddled biker-esque roommate of Diaz's; his scene with Thomas Lennon's easily seduced state testing employee is the best, and funniest, in the whole movie. Smith is an actress I enjoy watching, and her character's indecisive nature was also mildly amusing. I would love to see the movie where these three people's lives intersect... but alas, we got this.

Yes, this movie was pretty terrible. It doesn't reach the skull-crushing lows of The Love Guru, but it'd be hard to duplicate that, I think. It had a few amusing moments, and seeing Cameron Diaz soaking wet is always a plus. Otherwise, I'd recommend avoiding this.

*.5/*****